Broken on my Knees

Humbly I stand before today before realizing that my feet aren?t holding me up. I?m on my knees realizing what lays ahead and how little I know of what is head of me. Finally realizing that the hands that are embracing the floor aren?t able to reach forward to you Father. That the feelings of my heart at lost in the confusion of my mind as my hands are stretched out on the floor before my Lord.

I wish that I had the answer right now to tell you, that would make sense of what is going on around you and I don?t yet. Slowly it is starting to make more sense. I?m broken before our Father because everything I?ve tried hasn?t worked, my mind needs His counsel, my prayers need to be lifted up to Christ so that I will be able to tell you what you deserve to hear.

To say I understand where you?re at would be a lie, to say I have done everything I should have would also fall short of truth. The only thing that I?m certain of is where my heart rests and that you deserve to know more, and you will know both. As this rain gently falls today my prayers for understanding and your comfort rise up to Him. Please take refuge in Him until we meet again and we?re able to talk. Know that you aren?t alone, it hasn?t been easy for me and I would guess the same would be true for you. I wish that now I knew more of what I needed to say, please don?t be scared to ask and I promise I won?t be scared to tell. Please relax and take a breath because tomorrow is soon to be today and soon there will be answers that you deserve, my regret is that it isn?t today. I pray this makes sense…

Maybe someday you?ll know
the time spent at this window,
with eyes up to the sky
wondering why it?s taking so long.
To be taken where the stars are brighter
and the moon will set you by my side
for that moment neither of us could hide
from how we feel for each other.

To show you my longing heart,
and start by holding you like so
pointing to the stars I saw from my window
telling how they made me dream of you.
Then sit and listen to all you have to say
catching all that your heart pours out
about to realize what all this means
when the time shall come to say goodbye.
don?t know how and not sure why
I am loosing you and your grace,
as this place with you in my arms fades away.

For tonight I?m sitting in my room staring into the night air
longing for the plane to take me there.
Where time will stop for you and me,
letting words be said worry free
you?d understand how my heart is resting,
or is it restlessly waiting for you?

4/11/04
when I wrote this I wasn?t sure who it was for, it just was how my heart felt, as much as it has changed since then it feels as though I am back were I started when I wrote this. Desiring to be able to talk to you. However I?m not so sure that this time will be met with Goodbye… This poem talks of a dream, and one can only be left to wonder if…

Keep living for Christ and God bless,
~paul